Dear Daughter, Let Miley Cyrus Be a Lesson To You

| 08-28-AD2013 | [28]

Karol Henseler Orsborn M.D., OCDS - Miley Cirus

Dear Daughter,

Let Miley Cyrus be a lesson to you.

Yes, this is what happens when you constantly hear that everything you do is awesome. This is what happens when people fawn over your every Tweet and Instagram photo. This is what happens when no responsible adult has ever taught you that you are created in the “image and likeness of God” with the purpose “to know, love and serve God in this world, so that you can be with Him in the next.” This is what happens when you live in a world where many confused and immature parents are more focused on plastic surgery, shopping and “being hip” than on teaching their children the beauty of our Catholic faith and its teachings, as well as the virtues of humility, love, faith and modesty.

If you ever consider doing something like that, I promise you that I will run immediately to the Eucharistic Adoration chapel and begin a novena to St. Monica. I will make the rosary a continuous prayer in my heart and on my lips. I will solicit every priestly order I know to have masses offered up for your conversion, and I will contact every order of sisters to do the same.

I will pray rosary upon rosary and chaplet upon chaplet beseeching God that, one day, I will look up and, like the Father in the Prodigal Son story, I will see you “far off” and will go running to you with open arms of love and mercy and not judgment and condemnation. I will also pray for all of the people you interact with on your prodigal journey, praying that at some point, when you are on your way to hitting the bottom, someone will shine the light of Christ to you and aid you in ascending from your self-chosen pit of following your own will, instead of God’s will for your life.

You see, when you follow the world, you find darkness, unhappiness and, ultimately death. When you follow the will of God in your life, you find love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness and self-control.

Why would I do this? Because, first and foremost, I love God. Secondly, I love you because God gave you to me as an invaluable gift. With that gift, God gave me and your father the gigantic task of raising you in the truths of our Catholic faith, praying for your soul and striving to help you to grow in virtue. Your straying does not change the task God has given me. Though you may wander far from me, I will always pray and intercede for your soul. That is the job Christ has given to me, and I take that very seriously, as your soul is the most precious gift God has ever given to me. During your times of “waywardness” and wandering from the faith, the task God has given me in being your parent, in an ironic way, becomes ever so much more apparent, and drives me to my knees in a way that I should have been doing all those years “the world” saw you as a “good girl”.

Miley Cyrus is not edgy or cool or sexy. She has been sold a bill of goods by our current hedonistic culture that a young girl is defined by her exterior looks and sexuality, never has been told the truth that her inner beauty comes from the indwelling of the Holy Trinity. The light of Christ lies within her, no matter how much she may try to mask it with the darkness of tattoos, piercings, and scanty clothing.

Miley is sad, she is lonely, she is craving love and acceptance and approval. In the words of “The Donut Man” Miley is trying to fill her “Jesus shaped hole in her heart” with everything but Jesus. I pray that one day she will learn, as did dear St. Augustine (whose feast day we celebrate today), “Our hearts are restless Lord, until they rest in You.” I pray for the conversion of Miley Cyrus, as should you. If all of her self-proclaimed “Smilers” were praying for Miley’s conversion, instead of reveling in her “bad girl days,” we might be seeing a different Miley Cyrus.

You probably know girls who will emulate Miley’s behavior at the next school dance. Pray for those girls. They are far too valuable to sell themselves so cheaply because, as you, they also contain the inherent dignity of being made in the image and likeness of God. Instead of judging these girls, go to church. Offer up your masses for them. Pray a Divine Mercy Chaplet for them, as well as for all of the boys around them, who are seeing those girls as objects, and not as the princesses of the Kingdom God has created them to be. We truly do live in the “culture of death” and all of the symptoms we are seeing in our children, such as Miley, merely reflect this reality.

I’m sorry if you ever felt sad because I have turned everything into talks about virtue and the path of holiness and striving for sanctity in our daily lives. But this is, truly, what God has called me, as your mother, to instill in you during your childhood. You see, it is true, everyone is called to be a saint. Not just Mother Teresa, or St. Francis. Everyone is called to be a saint. We all have our different paths to sanctity, and no route we take on that path is ever too far from God that we cannot turn back and choose the path of God’s will and personal holiness.

With the feast days of St. Monica and St. Augustine yesterday and today, I encourage you to learn about these two saints, who present quite a North Star for Tish Cyrus, Billy Ray Cyrus, and Miley Cyrus to look to from their darkness. I know I have turned to St. Monica often since becoming a mother. She is such a gift from our dear Catholic Church to mothers struggling with children who are straying from the path; not just giving those mothers hope that they can “change their child”, because, in reality, that is between the child’s heart and God, but giving mothers hope that they can change themselves, by sacrificing themselves, giving up their own will for the will of God in their life, and never, never giving up on their prayers for their children’s hearts to burst into the flame of love for God that they know is the true path to happiness, holiness and eternal life.

God bless you my precious child.
All for Jesus, thru Mary,

Mom

About the Author:

Karol Henseler Orsborn M.D., OCDS is a pediatrician of 20 years, as well as a member of the Secular Order of Discalced Carmelites. Her husband, Dave, works for St. Gabriel Catholic Radio and they are the parents of three daughters. In December 2012, she felt called to leave the field of Pediatrics, in order to fight attacks upon the family and the parent/child bond becoming especially prevalent in Pediatrics. Additionally, she has a desire to work towards maintaining and restoring Purity and Innocence in Youth, and exposing them to Virtue, Beauty and Truth in their homes, schools and communities.
Parenting Filed in: Family, Parenting
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  • james

    I would be very interested in seeing your daughter’s written response to this.

  • bill bannon

    And there is the financial angle. Myley learned from Madonna and Lady Gaga that sexual sensationalism brings in the money from teens who want to rebel. Madonna remains the highest paid entertainer of the pop world. Meanwhile graduates from Julliard often have a tough time comparatively.

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  • Ana

    While it was painful to watch Miley’s performance, I was more sad with the presentation they gave Kanye West and his whole Yeezus thing.

  • Sarah

    James, her daughters would agree with her! They are a wonderful example of holy parenting from the beginning. My daughters have their worldliness that her girls do not have and are not even tempted to have. Its very dear to me to see the fruit of good parenting, Godly parenting, since it gives me hope for my own girls. They aren’t saints, yet, but they are closer than mine because of Karol and Dave’s parenting. Well done Karol!! Love and God’s blessings…

  • Pete

    Absolutely Divinely inspired, Dr. Orsborn nailed it perfectly. I too, was horrified to watch that little girl that my daughter use to look up to, during her years at Disney. If what we saw on international television is the “new” Miley Cyrus, imagine what goes on behind closed doors with that little girl. I wonder who encouraged her to take this route? A manager? Her Mom? Her Dad? May God help the Cyruses during this very dark time in their lives.

    • El_Tigre_Loco

      Not only Miley Cyrus, but Melissa Gilbert seems to have followed the same path. It is like they want to shed their “good” image for something “more sophisticated.”
      Matthew 16:26

    • WSquared

      The problem is that what counts as “good” tends to be a plasticky, bland, goody-two-shoes outlook, and not anything compelling or having intellectual and spiritual integrity.

      So of course what the culture codes as “good” lacks sophistication contrasted with “desirable, hot, and sexy”– because it does. Precisely because it makes goodness boring, when it is actually sin that is boring, because it lessens our ability to love. Taking my cues from Fulton Sheen here: “the reason why you’re bored is because you don’t love anything.” We should not be surprised that if those are the only alternatives, then “sophisticated” and “growing up” often means going from princess to pole-dancer. In our culture, we also deal with the cultural baggage of Puritanism, which we Catholics should know the Church teaches is heresy.

      What the Catholic Church teaches us about the good, about virtue, however, is different. A kid whose growth attempts to finds itself in rebellion should be taught to heed the Church’s message to be counter-cultural; to swim against the tide. What, after all, are they rebelling against, and how do we address it? This is a child who hungers for more.

      I’m not sure I would let any daughter God gifts me with watch the likes of Hannah Montana, except in moderation, not because it isn’t “clean,” but because so much “family” entertainment in America is hokey, contrived, and stupid. There are so many types where geeky kids end up being ugly ducklings who finally net the popular boy or girl later on, and where “cool” girls also get “good grades” and blah blah blah. But what does it mean for any child to truly be themselves?

  • Elizabeth

    Beautiful article. Right-on.

    To the author: I read your bio, and I would love to see an article written on the topic of the “attacks on the family…and on the parent/child bond” in the field of pediatrics.

    God bless you for your important work!

  • Roxy

    Excellent article Karol!! As the mother of boys, I commend your method of raising your daughters. They are beautiful young women, inside and out, and are a joy to be around rather than a near-occasion of sin for my sons.

  • Karrie

    I just read an article that makes a good point about holding both Miley and the male singer/writer of the song “Blurred Lines”, Robin Thicke who performed the song with her at the VMAs, accountable.

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  • http://www.modthirtyone.com/ Anh

    Thank you for sharing this, Karol! It’s a very compassionate response that every young women need to hear from their parents.

  • Maria

    This is a great article showing true Christian love to your daughter, but I am concerned by the number of people who actually blame Miley Cyrus 100% for the incident. I thought everyone knew by now that with exceptions like Lady Gaga, these Disney star types are groomed from a young age and generally have a sort of personal machine of songwriters, choreographers, managers, publicists, etc not to mention brand names and other companies, that make up all this stuff for them. Sure he could have said no, at the cost of her career. Clearly she has some culpability but this is not like the case of an Indie rock star who has a lot of artistic freedom but chooses to set a bad example anyway. This woman is a victim of the industry. Blaming her, simply an icon of the industry who was raised to obey what they say and knows no other life, and not the people behind her, adds to the problem. It is like trashing trafficked women and conveniently ignoring the pimp and crime ring controlling them. Are we seriously this naive? Sorry to single you out, lots of people doing he same thing, but I find it surprising.

    • Mary

      Karol is exposing or bringing to the light the root of the problem here. Disciplining a child starts at a very early age almost from birth and bringing up that child as a child of God, living daily a life with Christ, with full love and support of the family, is the solid foundation. Then that person is strong enough and has the tools to deal with whatever modern society and cultures comes their way. The material world will always change its ways, but the family is the heart of society. Change the family, you change society and it starts with one person at a time.

  • WSquared

    Part of the problem is the other side of the coin, or at least it doesn’t help any: faux Americanized “Christianity”– the kind of “bad religion” that Ross Douthat wrote a whole book about. Part of the problem is that it’s plain hokey, and lacks theological and philosophical substance.

    Certain things are “forbidden” and then take on the aura of forbidden fruit, instead of being viewed reasonably, and then integrated more fully into the human person. This is certainly the case with silly slogans like “modest is hottest”: modesty is about having the chastity necessary for moral, spiritual, and intellectual integrity and depth. It’s about humility; about decreasing so that the Lord may increase, so as to better be a temple of the Holy Spirit, not to find a bourgeois, respectable “Christian” way of being “hot.” Same goes for the approach to abstinence that again isn’t about chastity and the integration of sexuality into the human person, but about “saving yourself for marriage,” whereby once that ring on your finger gives everything a respectable veneer, then “anything goes,” supposedly.

    No Catholic has any business thoughtlessly picking up what the culture throws down and codes as “Christian.”

  • Paul

    How often do they start sweet and innocent, and end up as a sick mess then dead?

    None of us are gods doesn’t matter how rich, powerful or famous we have become and if we believe we are then the ugliness inside of us will consume us to death.

    Look at Lucifer who had it all and let the ugliness inside of him become more important then God who created him.

    “Moreover the word of the LORD came to me: Mortal, raise a lamentation over the king of Tyre, and say to him, Thus says the Lord GOD: You were the signet of perfection, full of wisdom and perfect in beauty. You were in Eden, the garden of God; every precious stone was your covering, carnelian, chrysolite, and moonstone, beryl, onyx, and jasper, sapphire, turquoise, and emerald; and worked in gold were your settings and your engravings. On the day that you were created they were prepared. With an anointed cherub as guardian I placed you; you were on the holy mountain of God; you walked among the stones of fire. You were blameless in your ways from the day that you were created, until iniquity was found in you. In the abundance of your trade you were filled with violence, and you sinned; so I cast you as a profane thing from the mountain of God, and the guardian cherub drove you out from among the stones of fire. Your heart was proud because of your beauty; you corrupted your wisdom for the sake of your splendor. I cast you to the ground; I exposed you before kings, to feast their eyes on you. By the multitude of your iniquities, in the unrighteousness of your trade, you profaned your sanctuaries. So I brought out fire from within you; it consumed you, and I turned you to ashes on the earth in the sight of all who saw you. All who know you among the peoples are appalled at you; you have come to a dreadful end and shall be no more forever” (Ezekiel 28:11-19, NIV).

  • Cy

    I have four daughters (and two sons), I’ll encourage (i.e. mandate) my two younger daughters read this article as well as my boys.
    Nice article Doc.

  • tg

    Very beautiful and true. Like St. Monica, I’m praying for my children and grandchildren.

  • Kathy Oakley

    Kathy – this is beautifully written and so eloquently expresses my feelings as a single mom who has single-handedly – and amidst real and often truly vicious criticism, raised 3 children in the Catholic faith only to have all 3 of my beloved children give up the practice of this great gift of Our Lord to us – His Church and the sacraments. I wish that I could give this wonderful article to my children to read but already having being over and over again accused of “forcing the Catholic Church down our throats”, I know that their response would be that I am insulting them and suggesting that they are not good enough simply because they do not confirm to what I think and believe! This I have heard over and over again. So – and as your wonderful article says Karol, we continue in prayer, giving everything to Our Blessed Mother in the Holy Rosary, knowing that she will intercede to her Son on our behalf and in praying the chaplets, particularly that devoted to the Divine Mercy. God bless you abundantly for this truly wonderful article.

  • Black

    MileyCyrus is Miley Cyrus because the Family foundation was Hollywood and
    Disney From parents that revolved around the Camera and they wanted
    the best for their daughter plus the glitter and the sparkle that
    goes with it – Sadly reality of Hollywood and Disney are like the
    iceberg – You only see the surface the biggest part is hidden and
    the most dangerous and like the iceberg its below out of sight

    Don’t be so hard on poor Miley – Personally I pity her this continuous
    behavior will only lead to a spiral down fall that will go the way
    of so many starlets – Learn from the Miley Cyrus of this world A
    Family must at all times provide wholesome protective and good
    Christian Values – A Child’s Brain is pure untainted its ready and
    eager to learn – The responsibility starts with YOU THE PARENT

    • El_Tigre_Loco

      My wife was involved with local theater in her teens. She observed how corrupt those people, even at that level were and got out. Thanks be to God.

  • Candy

    This is beautiful, hope every mother who wants her child to be coo reads this. Sending to my daughter to ponder for our wonderful 15 yr old.
    Loving grandmother

  • Diane McKelva

    Karol, I love this article! And yes, I had to send the link to ALL of my girlfriends, and family, who have daughters. Very well expressed. I don’t think you left a stone unturned. ;) Peace be with you. Diane

  • Denise smith

    well said.

  • mabel

    I’m not even a Catholic, but that was beautiful. I was looking for people who will commit to praying for the lost and wayward youth of Hollywood, as well as prayer for my daughter who is very pure of heart but wants to someday become an actress.